It never ceases to amaze me how fast a storm can roll in. This last Sunday we had a haboob roll through the TriCities. First off, I had no idea what a haboob was until this storm rolled in. I don't even know how to pronounce that word without laughing. Is it "Ha-Boob" or "Ha-Bob" with a silent extra "o"? I don't know. I get stuck on the first one and start laughing. Anyway, it was I.N.S.A.N.E. The hubby and I were getting packed up to head to our couples bible study and he goes..."I think we need to bring the animals in. Look at that cloud." As I looked up towards the foothills behind our house I watched as this cloud overtook the houses on the hill. They just disappeared from sight. As I rushed around bringing the dogs into the house and getting the horses into the corral, the lightening started in. Glancing back, I felt like running because the houses only 500 yards away just on the other side of the freeway, were now completely out of sight. Lightning was striking very close, thunder was cracking and huge rain drops were starting to fall as I hopped back into the drivers seat of our car. About 60 seconds later, the cloud hit our house. We watched in amazement as we were overtaken by the dust cloud. Looking towards our neighbors house we could hardly make out their shop just 50 yards away. I put the car in gear and began driving. It was 6:15 at night and the sun had not set yet, but it was so dark it felt like 9:00. As we were driving the street lamps around us turned on to compensate for the darkness. At a stop light I realized that I was really nervous. More than nervous. I was scared. My palms were sweating, and I had been holding onto the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were white. That's when I began praying.
As I released my fear up to God, he filled my heart back up with peace and calmness. One of my favorite verses came to mind, "You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You." (Isaiah 26:3) It was instantaneous. I still had no idea what would happen as the storm progressed, but His peace told me it would be ok. In fact the evening turned out to be really fun. When we arrived to bible study the lights were out in the house. The door was flung open by a very excited son of another couple. He goes "Come On In! We're having a PARTY!". He had been completely unfazed by the storm. Their power had been knocked out and we had to do bible study in the dark. While the storm was intense, God's peace was even stronger. I was reminded yet again of God's promises to me. He is my refuge and my fortress. Psalm 91:1-2 "He who dwells in the shelter of the most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "You are my refuge and my fortress, My God in whom I trust.".
Overcoming my fear is fairly new to me. God has really been working on my heart these last 3-4 years (yes, I said years) on letting Him heal my heart from a life long struggle with anxiety and worry. As I was working through my 90 Day's with Jesus study this week, I was reminded yet again that we really are not supposed to live with fear and worry in our hearts. When we allow fear, worry and anxiety to dwell in our hearts and minds we take our eyes off of the vertical focus on our Heavenly Father who can accomplish all things, and turn them the horizontal focus of our own life and power which cannot accomplish all things.
Matthew 6:25-34 says: "This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? Can any of you add a single cubit to his height by worrying? And why do you worry about clothes? Learn how the wildflowers of the field grow: they don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t He do much more for you—you of little faith? So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
It is literally a command of Jesus to us to NOT WORRY. Therefore, when we do worry we are breaking a command of His. As I strive to grow closer to God, I work extra hard to not break his commands. How do we not worry though? The main way I battle against worry is through hiding God's word on my heart. When worry hits, having scripture memorized is the best way to be reminded that God is greater than our earthly fears. Psalm 91:1-2, Joshua 1:9, Nehemiah 4:14, Isaiah 26:3, Matthew 6:25 are all scriptures I have hidden on my heart. If memorizing scriptures have always seemed difficult to you, then I encourage you to try again. DO NOT GIVE UP. The truth is, we can easily remember catchy songs, movie lines and famous quotes, yet we struggle with memorizing key scriptures which free us from the burdens of this world. Pick a verse, big or small and hide it in your heart this week. God's word is living, and true and healing. I pray that you let it set you free from a heavy burden this week as well.
Comment or message me with what verse you are going to memorize :) I am going to add Isaiah 41:10 to my arsenal: "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Blessings Everyone!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Sunday, September 1, 2013
A Woman With a Purpose
This last week has been a complete blur. If you ask me what I did last Monday, I would stand there looking at you blankly. Honestly, the only thing I can answer about this last week is that we all managed to stay fed and clothed and that my house stayed in some semblance of order. Now ask me what my baby did, I can go on about that endlessly. She learned to pull her self up on furniture and how to lower herself down. She learned how to play hide and seek, and how to open the cupboards. She learned how to really turn pages in a book well. She sat for 25 minutes one day to "read" books with me. She learned how to drink out of a straw. She figured out how to pull down the curtains in her room. She said "Hi" and "Hey" for the first times. She got scared of the vacuum cleaner. She crawl "chased" the kitty, and played with the dogs. She fell asleep in her hiking back pack one day while I was out watering my horses, because she refused to nap in her crib. She cried often as she bumped her head, her bottom, her elbow, her knees when she flopped down, tired from standing so long. She also laughed a lot as we played endless amounts of "Patty Cake" and "Peek a Boo", and "Kiss me or I'll tickle you". She was busy, therefore, I was busy. This is the life of a stay at home mom. There are days and weeks like last week, which quite honestly I do not remember anything that I did for myself. Where I spend all day making sure that my little one doesn't get into trouble as she masters all of these new skills. They are days where I will collapse into bed thinking about what to make for breakfast the next day, even though I am completely worn out from today. Days like this can wear on a person and make you forget your purpose. They exhaust you and They make you ask yourself, "Where am I going?" "Why did I spend all of that time in college to 'only' be a stay at home mom"? "What is my purpose?" "Do I even have a 'purpose' any more?" I know that we can all relate. We all have at one point or another wondered "What is my purpose"?
I am so thankful that I dived into Beth Moore's Jesus: 90 Days With the One and Only for this season of my life. HIS life, was truly a life with a purpose, and one I can learn from. I learned so much about Jesus this week as I dove into the scriptures with this study. From my time in the scriptures in the last 7 days, Jesus just feels so much more real to me than I have allowed Him to be in a while. Like a long time best friend that you have thought about often, but just never got around to catching up with. It was nice to catch up with Him again and to be reminded that He WANTS to spend every minute of every day with me.
I was incredibly fascinated with the lessons this week on Mary, the mother of Jesus. If there ever was a woman who had a purpose she was not aware of, it was Mary. There were just so many truths that God spoke to my heart this week through her story. The first one is found in Luke 1:35-37. After the angel tells her she will conceive Jesus, she asks the angel "How will the be, since I am a virgin?" The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So teh holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative in is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail." Shortly after, Mary went to visit her cousin Elizabeth who tells her in verse 45, "Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!".
As I read these scriptures I was reminded that God very specifically called me to this purpose of being a stay at home mom. He placed the desire on my heart, but I fought it. Even though all of the scriptures I read during this time reminded me not to worry, that God would take care of us, I did not know how we could afford it. The budget looked OK but there would be no wiggle room. I was praying about it while I was pregnant with my daughter. I asked Him for signs. While God does not always answer us specifically how we ask Him to, this one time for me He did. He specifically placed other stay at home moms in my life, and friends and mentors to tell me the blessings they had experienced as they reared their children from home. He placed people in my life, complete strangers, who told me stories about how they regretted they never stayed home with their babies. People came up to me at grocery stores, and while I was at doctor's offices. I have to say, I didn't finally make my decision until I had that baby girl in my arms though. That is when I answered God's call in my heart. I began to trust God that he would indeed keep his promises and take care of us. And He has! About a week after I called work to tell them I was not coming back, my husband got a small pay raise. While this is truly a blessing, it is small in comparison to all of the other many blessings which have been poured out from heaven onto us.
I started reading the book Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis this week as well. Yet again, it is another way God has answered this cry of my heart to feel "purposeful" in what I am doing right now. I am only 5 chapters in and yet God has just used this book to smooth a healing balm over my fears and worries that I do not have a purpose. Katie Davis is a young missionary in Uganda who gave up literally everything about her American life when she graduated high school and set out to accomplish the purpose God set out for her. In her book she talks about how hard it was. How much contradiction her new role held for her. How, for a while her family was very displeased with her choices, and tried to convince her to come home and go to college. She talks about how even though she missed everything about home and her former life, she felt as though she had "finally come home" once she got to Uganda. She had an inner peace and joy which could only come from the knowledge that she was completely doing the Lord's will for her. She writes, "I was in the center of Gods will; I was doing what I was supposed to do." After starting up an organization to raise funds to pay the fee's to send over 100 children from the village to school, a parent of one of these children asked her "Why?" Her answer was wonderful. She writes, "Because the Lord who created you loves you. Because He created you for a purpose and he wants you to fulfill that purpose. Because the God who knows every hair on your head desires to lift you out of this dust and into his glory.".
"Because he created you for a purpose and he wants you to fulfill that purpose." That was the line that just filled in that God sized hole I had in my heart this week about feeling purposeless. My purpose as a mother is a divine calling. My purpose as a wife is a divine role. They are not meaningless like the world wants me to think. No one else can take care of my family the way that I can. No one else can encourage my husband in his difficult job of providing for us the way that I can. No one else can teach my baby girl about the Love that Jesus has for her the way that I can. No one can pray for my family, the way that I can. Through Christ, because of Christ, all of these run-on days, have GREAT purpose.
Each life has a divine purpose laid out for it. Every person has a plan from God that they are destined to fulfill. While I have been called to be a stay at home mom, this may not be everyone's journey. Your journey is completely your own. That is the wonderful thing about having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We don't have to be the same as someone else. We don't have to compare ourselves to other super moms, missionaries or working moms. Our plan is unique how we are unique in the Lord.
I will close with another lesson I learned from Mary. Our unique purpose from God is a gift, but it may not be easy. In fact, because of the state of the world we live in, I can guarantee it will be hard to accomplish. The way we make it feel easier is by giving thanks to God every step of the way. Mary did this with a beautiful song that we can read like a poem in Luke 1:46-55. My favorite verses are these, "My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me - holy is his name." How often along the way of doing the Lord's will do we have a joyful heart? How often do we go about our day mumbling and complaining about what it is that God has asked us to do? Wouldn't our day's just seem so much brighter if we offered up praises to God instead?
I am excited about this next week. While I know that I will probably be singing countless renditions of The Ants Go Marching, Jesus Loves Me, and Patty Cake, it will be so worth it. Because at the end of the day, that little girl will know that she is loved, and that Jesus does in fact, love Her. Because of Jesus reminding me that I have a divine purpose as a mother, I am setting out to enjoy every minute this week. I am striving to praise God for every second of laughter and every tear shed this week. I will strive to turn my grumbling to laughter and keep my spirit rejoicing. I will remember that "No word from God will ever fail."
Blessings Friends!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Not your Typical First Post....
How do you begin the first post on your new blog? I really have no idea. I have so many things I could write about. Some topics I am sure you will get sick of hearing about. (Being a new mommy I tend to be able to talk endlessly about my baby and how perfect I think she is, or about the latest antics of my fur-babies. Basically if you aren't a baby or a pet person then this blog is NOT for you :)) The good news is I don't have to write about them all at once. I am not going to bore you with an introduction of myself, (yet) because you can find the little tidbits I plan on sharing in my profile. Besides if you are reading this, there is a chance you already me from school, church or you are family. Instead, I will begin with something I am newly excited about. I began a new devotional study yesterday. It is one in Beth Moore's Personal Reflection Series titled Jesus: 90 Days with the One and Only. I love Beth Moore's writing. It is both informative and personally real all at once. Having just finished John: 90 Days With the Beloved Disciple (another study in the Personal Reflection Series), I decided to keep going on the series. Funny thing is, it took me 2 years to complete the John study! This is because I only did the lessons in between sessions of the women's bible study group I attend. We will see how long it takes me to complete this one. :) Anyway, that is neither here nor there.
Why am I so excited to do a study on Jesus? Honestly, it is because I have never actually studied Jesus. For those of you who know me well you are now thinking "WHAT? NO WAY!" But it is true. I have been a believer in the Lord Jesus as my personal savior since I was 7, yet I have never studied him as a person. I have of course been a student of the bible since then. I know the stories of Jesus, of his miracles and his love. Of his great sacrifice. I know and understand many of the character qualities of Jesus that one would normally gather from going to church, reading the bible and having fellowship with other believers. I know Jesus as one would know a life long child hood friend. I love my Jesus with a fervor. Yet, I know there is so much more to know about this friend of mine.
I can't really say it better than Beth Moore already did in her introduction of Jesus: 90 Days With the One and Only:
"That Son of His (referring to Jesus, God's son) is the dearest thing in my whole life. I don't have pens or paper enough to express my gratitude for the privilege of knowing Him and loving Him. The little I know is so transforming and revolutionary to me that I yearn to know more. My chief request of God is that He will supernaturally flood my life with an unending, ever-increasing desire for His Son. Jesus is not only my delight; He is my safety. Loving Him with absolute abandon is no doubt in my own best interest. As one who has been delivered from a life of defeat and hidden self-destruction, my deepest desire for every man, woman, youth and child is to find that love."
Paul writes in his letter to the Ephesians, "And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." (Eph 3:18-19) There will always be more to know and understand about Jesus. I know that I will never know every thing about Jesus. However, my goal with doing this study is that I will simply learn more than I know today. That I will learn to love more than I already do now.
I hope you follow along as I ponder and write about what I am learning. I can't promise I will post every day, because, well, I am a stay at home mommy of a precocious and lovable 9 month old little girl who I have to make sure doesn't hit her head a million times a day as she masters this crawling/standing/trying to walk phase. My goal is to post once a week what I have learned. If you are interested in purchasing the study and going along with me there is the link for them from ChristianBookStore. I own all four, mainly because they are just so pretty to look at. They even have a bit of "gold leafing" that gives them a bit of sparkle. What woman doesn't like pretty things that sparkle? Especially when those pretty things are new books, with new pages and the smell of fresh ink... OK I am off topic. And I just revealed my nerdy side...oops... :)
Blessings Everyone! Until next time!
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